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Monthly Archives: February 2012

A time of Honouring

This past week has been a time of honouring. It has been a week of honouring all that is sacred in my life.

My grand-daughter, second son and daughter in law came to visit last week and the preciousness of family was really brought home to me. Spending time with my grand-daughter and honouring the GRAND-Father in me was amazing. There was not much room for Little Adrian as I stood proud and tall with her. Little Adrian only came out in positive ways as games  like Hide and Seek and Peek a Boo were played.

I have also been in a place of honour with Arleen, my beloved wife and friend. I treasure the relationship that we have and the support that we give one another in times of challenge. Having the same, or at least similar, tools to enter into communication with one another is a real gift. We have both studied in similar fields of psychotherapy, adult education and spirituality and this certainly helps us to understand each other much of the time. Understanding the needs of our inner children has been a great gift for us both. Having the courage and the insight to be able to recognise and call the other to task when the ‘little ones’ are running the show often makes it easier to work through any challenges and issues.

I have also been honouring my skills and experiences and seeing what an incredible man I am. I say this not with a big Ego, but with a real and honest honouring and evaluation of myself. If we, as men, could learn to do this and to really honour ourselves, what a world of difference it would make.

This weeks cake recipe is for Apricot and Pineapple cakes

This recipe will make 12 small muffin size cakes or you can place the mixture in a round tin and arrange the fruit to fit.

Ingredients: 4 eggs, 200 grams of butter, 200 grams of sugar, 500 grams of self raising flour, 2 teaspoons of baking powder, squeeze of lemon, 440 gram tin of pineapple – or use freshly cut and cubed pineapple, 6 apricots cut in half.

Method: Melt the butter and leave to cool whilst mixing the rest of the ingredients. Mix eggs, sugar, lemon juice and then add the butter. Mix baking powder with flour and then add to bowl. Mix well for 2 minutes and then add the pineapple and mix in well.

Place most the mixture in the buttered/greased tins or large tin. Place the halves of apricots on top of the mixture and then cover with the remainder of the mixture. Bake for approx 12-15 minutes at 180 degrees. Lovely with a dollop of fresh cream.


When can we truly claim to be men?

This past week I have been sitting with a question that I would like to share with you.

This question is one that I feel needs to be asked by all men at sometime on their journey. For me, this questioned has been asked many times. It is something that I have asked as part of the journey of self-discovery and self-empowerment.

The question is this;  When can I truly claim to be a MAN? Perhaps for the women who read this – they could ask – When can I truly claim to be a WOMAN?

Back to the question. I have asked myself this question many times at different stages of my development and life. At 18 I really thought that I was a man, as this is the legal age of being an adult. At the age of 21, I realised that at 18 I was not a man. At 25, I realised that at 21 I was not much more of one either. Legally, yes, I was an adult, yet much of my behaviour and understandings of  the way in which I played my role in the world was less than what I now call ‘being a man’, ‘being in my manhood’.

Now, being in my 49th year, I feel that I have stepped into my true manhood, into my true essence of being responsible and being able to own it. I feel good in my man energy. I feel safe in my manhood. I feel content. I feel powerful. I feel that finally I have reached that place of feeling that I am a man. So for me, it is only now that I claim, with true conviction, to be a man. It is only now that I know in my being that the ‘boys’ in me have been tamed and healed to the degree where I can hold myself in the place of being a man. The boys within me do come out and try to take control on occasions, but I  feel confident, and know in my being, that I have the ability as a man to deal with them. My ‘inner children’, my ‘inner teenagers’, my ‘inner adolescents’  are less and less in control.

As I look around my community of men and around the world of men, I see many so called men who are still acting like adolescents; like spoiled brats in some cases. If you carefully watch the actions and listen to the language of some of the ‘men’ in our communities or in the wider world, you will see and hear that they are still in their boy or teenage phase emotionally – and perhaps mentally and spiritually.

So, back to the question. When can I truly claim to be a MAN?

Can you ask yourself this question and evaluate where you are Right Now in your own journey of being a man (or woman). Can you step up in some way and become more than you are Right Now? Can you take steps to become more of a man (or woman)? Can you allow the true adult in you to really shine?

For me there are a few key aspects that we need to do to step up into this place of being an adult, in the true meaning of the word. These key things are RESPONSIBILITY for our thoughts, feelings and actions. RESPONSIBILITY for the way that we carry ourselves and place ourselves in the community. RESPONSIBILITY to be an example to our younger generation. RESPONSIBILITY to let others know that their actions are acceptable or not acceptable – think here of family, friends, colleagues, leaders, etc. RESPONSIBILITY for our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual well-being is a big part of being a man or woman.

What I have come to over the years is that it is all about Self-responsibility with a good mix of responsibility for challenging other people about theirs too. If, as a man, I can challenge the negative behaviour, and support the positive behaviour, of others then I am doing my bit for my community and the world. If I see someone doing something that is not positive, or is detrimental to myself or the community, I believe that I have a responsibility to say something. Oftentimes, in our own families or communities, we see things that could be questioned and/or stopped if we were man enough to do so.

Little Adrian loves it when I express myself like this. He feels safe, he feels protected and feels that he has a man that he can look up to as a mentor; as a role model. When Master Adrian speaks and is presents, the boy knows that the man is here. That is when I know that I can truly claim to be a man! I know because the boy in me knows it too. And for me, Right Now, this is man enough, enough for me to be content. And yet I know there is more growth for me to come – there is more man to step into.

Now, the cake recipe for the week.  This week I have made some Banana Muffins.

Ingredients: 3 eggs, 450 grams self raising flour, 1 teaspoon of bicarbonate of soda, 150grams of sugar, 200 grams of soft butter, 2 bananas, teaspoon of vanilla essence, teaspoon of cinnamon, teaspoon of ground nutmeg.

Method: Beat the eggs, add the sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon and vanilla essence and mix well. Mix the butter and banana together until soft and add to mixture. Add the flour and bi-carb and mix everything together for a few seconds – do not over mix.

Grease/butter the muffin tins or containers. Will make 12-15 muffins.

Bake for about 15 minutes at 180 degrees.