As adults we can carry our old wounds; our old traumas, with us all the way from childhood, and not have any consciousness about them whatsoever. As an example, I would like to share a true story with you.
Just a couple of weeks ago I was having a very late night – or I should probably say, a very early morning, due to the fact that I ate half a bar of rich organic chocolate that was full of crushed coffee beans. I don’t do caffeine very well, so my body was buzzing with energy. After watching a movie and spending some loving time with my beautiful wife, and then reading a book for an hour or so, I was still wide awake. It was now about 2.30am.
As I lay on my back resting on my bed trying, but not succeeding, in going to sleep, I was aware that my left arm was hanging off the side of the bed. In fact it was not my whole arm, just my left elbow. Ordinarily I would have pulled my elbow back in, as I have always, for as long as I can remember, never allowed my elbow to hang over the side of the bed, not even one inch. In fact if my elbow was anywhere even close to the edge of the bed, I would pull it in. This was only true for my left elbow, and not my right elbow. This was something that I did mostly unconsciously, although Arleen and I often laughed about it when we noticed it happening.
Well, to continue the story, I was on my back with my left elbow off the bed and I consciously decided to leave it there and get a sense of what it was that was so frightening for me, as it was fear that always crept in to make me move my elbow to a place of ‘safety’. So I did just that. I left it there and focused on it. I began to sweat a little and I felt the trauma rising. It hit me fast. I was taken back to a time when I was about nine or ten years old.
I was in a rubber dinghy with two friends, Robert and David, and we were floating down a river. It was in the depths of winter and was cold. We were fully dressed, with trousers and shirts, socks and shoes, and I think jumpers. We had been paddling and floating down the river for quite some time, perhaps an hour or more, when suddenly we rounded a corner in the river and saw a barbed-wire fence stretched across the river in front of us. There were about four or five stands of wire and they were low and close to the water.
As we reached the barbed-wire fence, somehow we capsized, and we all ended up in the freezing water.
What I realized in that moment, as I lay on my bed with my elbow on the edge of the bed, was that the bed represented the rubber dinghy and my elbow had been the first thing to touch the cold water before I was plunged under. It had stored the trauma of that incident for about 40 years. As I let the trauma unfold into the story, I felt the release. It felt wonderful. It felt very freeing. I can now sleep with my elbow sticking off the side of the bed with no trauma whatsoever.
It was a great experience and has given me food for thought on some of the other ‘ phobias’ that I have. This is what I have chosen to call them, much to the humour and delight of Arleen.
That was the story of how Little Adrian’s rubber dinghy trauma was released by Master Adrian on coffee chocolate night. I am sure there are many old trauma’s ‘stuck’ in our being that we have no consciousness of, and that we could release if we spend a few moments to contemplate and work with them. What a wonderful thing it was to do, to release that old trauma … aaaahhhhhh!
This week’s cake recipe is for a dozen Corn and Honey cakes.
Ingredients: 3 eggs, 150 grams butter, 200 grams of sugar, 3 tablespoons of honey, 200 grams of yellow corn (maize) flour, 200 grams self raising white flour, 1 teaspoon salt, one teaspoon of powdered nutmeg, 1 teaspoon of powdered cinnamon, 3 teaspoons of baking powder.
Method: Mix the eggs, sugar and butter together until well mixed. add the honey and mix in well. Add all the other ingredients and mix in well for a couple of minutes with hand whisk. Spoon mixture into well buttered muffin tray (12 X) and bake in the oven for about 15 minutes on a moderately hot temperature of about 180 degrees. Leave to cool for 5 minutes and then turn them out onto a wire rack. Eat whilst warm if you can. Can be re-heated for 5 minutes in the oven the next day.