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Monthly Archives: May 2012

Boys growing into Men

Wow – it seems that only a few moments ago my boys were still boys … and now they are stepping into man hood. My youngest ‘boy’ is almost 18. I have just returned from a weekend away and being with 3 of my ‘boys’ and it was just wonderful. My other ‘boy’ (my ‘step’ son), is in South Africa having a dad experience with his father.

My eldest ‘boy is off overseas in a couple of weeks – he is in the army and will be away for 5 months doing what he needs to do. Letting them go is never easy, not interfering too much is not easy, speaking my mind and my truth is also not always easy. That is the challenge of being a father I suppose; learning to speak, let go and not interfering is all part of the journey. As they grow into being men, it is also their challenge to let go, not interfere and speak their own truth. Young men can learn this, to some degree, from what we, the older men, show and teach them. we can learn to lead by example – and sometimes this is not easy, as we all get it wrong on occasions, I know that I certainly have.

Being with my ‘boys’ on the weekend gave me a real sense of pride. I am proud in the way in which they have developed and grown and am proud of the way in which I have been a father to them – I have learned to let go of old past guilt – and am proud of who and what I have become. Seeing them walk their own paths and find their own way of doing things and making new decisions is wonderful.

I look back at my own journey from boyhood to manhood and see now, with the gift of hindsight, how I made it; how I made my way through it. WOW – there were some pretty scary and challenges time when I think about it. I often joke that my Guardian Angels must have worked overtime!

I want to honour my ‘boys’ by calling them ‘young men’ – and by saying that I love them deeply. I look forward to the next few decades to see where you go to in your lives …

On the weekend my eldest son’s mother made a cake – a ‘moist coconut cake’ and it was very yummy.

Here is my moist coconut cake recipe.

Ingredients: 4 eggs, 200 grams sugar, 200 grams of softened butter, 150 grams of desiccated coconut, 300 grams of self raising flour, 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla essence, about 150 – 200 milliliters of milk – (I use coconut milk).

Icing  for the top and the middle – 100 grams of butter, 100 grams of icing sugar, 30 grams of desiccated coconut, a few drops of colouring – I use beetroot juice. Mix it all together.

Method: Mix the eggs, sugar and butter in a bowl until light and creamy. Add the other ingredients and mix for 2 minutes until light and creamy.

Place int o a lined/greased round 25cm cake tin and bake for 35-40 minutes on 180 degrees. When the cake is cool, cut the cake in half and add half of the  icing sugar mix. Then put together again and put the remainder of the icing sugar mix on the top of the cake.

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Removing old blockages

This week I have been challenged to step into a place that is not in my comfort zone. My business coach  challenged me to look into the area of  finding more referrals for my work. The result  – blockage – not going there – out of comfort zone

I have been dodging and weaving and excuse making and squirming and wriggling all week. I have sat in meditation, written words on paper, spoken to a friend and tried to look inside to see what the blockages are all about. So today, I had an intuition to listen into another coach that I have been working with for some time, who is in the US. I phoned into the weekly webinar this morning and guess what the subject for this week was? – yes, you have guessed it – Referrals! – Yes, I got a Double Wammy!

So, I took the bull by the horns today and made a few phone calls – and WOW – it was not so difficult. The blocks faded to pebbles and then to dust and I was through it. The blockages were all about my Little Adrian not feeling safe and secure and feeling that he might be rejected and not feeling that he deserved any referrals. It was also about worthiness; about feeling worthy of people’s referrals.  What a load of old nonsense that this can still come up for me. I would have thought that by now, after all of these years as an adult, that this would have been dealt with and finished with – but NO – it had not.

So many of the things that we wish to do in our lives can be stifled or stopped from old blockages created from past experiences, beliefs or taboos. In my case, the idea of receiving a referral from someone was blocked from old belief systems. Once it was worked through and recognised for what it was, I could move on.

This is such a common thing that I come across in my work with people; this blockage to take action. It is something that I have come to recognise in others, and in myself, much more easily and quickly and can now work more knowledgeably to remove or transform the blockages. It is a bit like calling in the plumber if there is a blocked pipe.As a coach I also do plumbing work with clients to clear the way for a better flow.

If you have any current emotional plumbing needs, it may be time to call an emotional plumber!

This weeks cake is a very special cake. If you make it you will be joining in with the energy of my daughter’s birthday, as it is this cake recipe that I used to make her birthday cake this week.

A Poppy Seed (Birthday) Cake

Ingredients: 3 eggs, 300mls milk, 200grams of butter (softened or melted), 300 grams of self raising flour, 200 grams of sugar, 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract, 1 tablespoon of maple syrup (you can use honey), 100 grams of poppy seeds.

Method: Mix the eggs, sugar, vanilla essence, maple syrup and butter in a bowl for 2 minutes. Slowly add the milk and mix in. Add the flour and poppy seeds and mix in well for another minute.

Place mixture into a lined/greased 25cm round cake tin and bake for 30 – 40 minutes at 180 centigrade. Often with cakes, I place a flat (pizza) tin over the top f0or the last 10 minutes, especially with a fan forced oven.

If you wish too, you can top the cake with butter icing.

Ingredients for butter icing: 100 grams of butter, 150 grams of icing sugar and a few drops of vanilla essence and a drop or two of lemon juice. I also added a bit of cocoa to a small bit of icing and made some chocolate icing to make some little stars with an icing bag.