And then I breathe and take a look at how long it has taken me to wake up to where I am Right Now. I know that I am still not fully committed to being 100% environmentally, ecologically, emotionally, spiritually and freely present in all that I do. Part of my screaming and anger is at ME – at myself!
I ask myself, what does it take to make the next step? What does it take to make the commitment? What does it take to really move on to another level of consciousness? This is what sits with me today. I read emails and Facebook comments with some deep skepticism and judgement when I read the: ‘loving’, ‘life is wonderful’, ‘just meditate’, ‘be happy’ messages. There is a world out there with children dying of hunger, people losing their homes, countries being invaded, legs being blown off by landmines that lay un-exploded in there thousands. All this going on whilst a very small number of the population sit in vasts amounts of wealth that could help to change this overnight. Every human being could be cared for, fed, educated, housed and be in a better state of health and wellbeing – but for this insatiable and crazy greed.
This is what gets me mad – this is what makes my blood boil. This is what makes the Man inside of me want to scream at the world… And then I breathe, meditate, calm down and start to put a few things into place to do my bit to help the world and feel a bit less angry, bitter, mad.
In this place I can make decisions to continue my good work as a coach, facilitator, trainer and author and do my bit to reach out to the world to support other people. I think of the children and adults living in the Botshabelo orphanage and community in South Africa and know that my support to them is good work.
If we, the more fortunate, can choose to spend even one hour per week trying to support the less fortunate – wow – what a difference that would make. What a difference it would make if we could pool this energy collectively and speak out as one big voice – this is my dream – and I feel it happening as I meet new people everyday who are doing this – the tide is beginning to turn- there is a place for anger – it is a place of transformation – turning the anger energy into constructive energy – that is the place for anger – in the furnace of change.
I love my anger, my madness, my rage as it burns me into a passion that helps me to be more creative – the difference with man anger and boy (adolescent) anger, is that I can control it and put it to good use. The man in me loves that!
The picture above is a painting that I did – it is called ‘Containing Astrality’ it could also be called ‘Containing Anger’, as they are connected.
Okay after all that rave – this weeks cake recipe is a new one – developed this weekend. It is for some Crispy Breakfast Muffins.
Ingredients: 3 eggs, 200grams sugar, 150 grams soft or melted butter, 400 grams self-raising flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 200 grams of breakfast cereal/muesli (something with flakes, fruit, nuts, etc) like, 1 1/2 cup milk (might need a bit more), 1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence.
Method: Mix eggs, sugar and butter in a bowl for one minute. Add the milk and vanilla essence and mix in well. Add the other cereal and mix slowly until well mixed. Place into lined muffin tray – it will make 12 good sized muffins.
Bake for 15-20 minutes at about 200 C. Yummy for breakfast or any other time.